Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!