Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +172

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Do you want to see something swell?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +70

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +67

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -175

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -164

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!