In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!