- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

"Next!"

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book