- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book