- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Jdkfk

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book