- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do you want to see something swell?

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

"Next!"

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book