BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

"Next!"

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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