- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? draws gun Moral: Pretty immoral

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book