your boobs are bigger than my nose

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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