- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? draws gun Moral: Pretty immoral

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book