Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!