Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You allergic to semen?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!