Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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You allergic to semen?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!