Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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You allergic to semen?

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!