How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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