Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!