- Anti-Pickup Line

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

adam burdass

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: sparkly eyes So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... steps to whisper in her ear ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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