Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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