Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +69

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -92

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -103

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!