boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!