Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!