Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!