On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!