- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

-hey, come here a minute.

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book