-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!