On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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you look like my mother

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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