I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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You allergic to semen?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!