excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!