- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book