Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Hello children! :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!