- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book