Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!