- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

I'm desperate, you'll do.

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book