Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Drink this!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

"You'll do."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!