girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!