hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

thumb_up thumb_down +23

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +5

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!