The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +56

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +18

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!