Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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free candy....

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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