Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

free candy....

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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