Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Hello children! :D

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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