- Anti-Pickup Line

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

I'll eat your poop

You allergic to semen?

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed throws glass that breaks have at you! slaps man Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! punches Shaft Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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