- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book