Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!