-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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I hate you already.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!