Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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