Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!