HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

haha

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!