- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book