Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!