Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

thumb_up thumb_down -44

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!