Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!