Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

haha

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Anti-Pickup Line

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