I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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