Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Stop Footing Around

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Gaywatch starts

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!