I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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greetings clarisse...

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Lesbihonest

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!