Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

thumb_up thumb_down +146

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

rohypnol. rape drug

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Gaywatch starts

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

thumb_up thumb_down +68

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

thumb_up thumb_down -120

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!