I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +68

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +89

-I love you.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +75

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

thumb_up thumb_down -36

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!