Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

You smell just like my mom...

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Sugar-free sugar cookies

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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