male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!