Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!