Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

hey you look like a good practice girl.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

Glass Basketball

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssss sss sssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xx sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xxsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xxxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxxxx xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxx xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ... ssss xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. ..... ssss xxx xxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssss... ...... sssss x xxx xxx xsssssssssssssssssssssss .... .......... sssx x xx xsssxxssssssssssssssssss ........ ............ sssss xssssssssssssssssssssssss ........... ............. 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.............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!