Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!