Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Have you met Ted?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!